Meltdown

Today was a rough day, as you know if you read my facebook feed.

Alex had a runny nose and cough, so we kept him home from ESY (summer school, for the uninitiated). Oddly, by 9:00 a.m., he seemed much more cheerful.

Eddie has been intermittently cranky-as-hell lately--I think he's teething.But I didn't want to give up on his swim lesson this morning, so we went anyway. It actually went really well, until it didn't. Ten minutes, tops, and he was done.

Then I rush and drop him off with Grandma, so I can make it to my appointment for bloodwork. Scoot in the door at my appointment time...my appointment that is scheduled for next Monday.

Next I ask Alex to come for a ride with me to take Grace to her tennis practice. All was well until we arrived ten minutes early, then Alex saw the courts and the mantra began: "I want to play tennis!" He even added variety after 20 times didn't work. "Hey! I want to play tennis!" x20. "You knoooow...I want to play tennis." x20. I had to be pleased by his willingness to expand his phrasing. And we actually had his racket and ball, so...

We got out and tried a little play, staying out of the way of other kids warming up. Ironically, it wasn't warm--it was frickin hot. 88 degrees, humid, full sun. I hoped he'd realize this was unpleasant, but no. After 5 minutes, the courts were filling up, and I forced an exit.

Meltdown.

We haven't had a full-blown meltdown in a month or more. If you don't live with autism or something similar, here's a short comparison. In a tantrum, it's done as a means to an end, seeking your attention, and is actually controlled for effect; a meltdown is overload, beyond the child's control, and will carry on without attention. When Alex melts down, whoever he perceives created the problem cannot calm him. And today--well, I didn't have the patience to try. It was a short ride to Grandma's, but he wailed the whole time.

Enter Grandma:magical, wonderful, former-first-grade-teacher Grandma. "What do you want, love? Tell me, and I'll make it happen...you want to play tennis? Of course you can play tennis! But you know, they don't let you play tennis when you have a cough...No, I'm sorry. So let's get you all better, and then you can play tennis, my sweet boy!" This went on for 5-10 minutes, until the waves subsided, while I was in the kitchen making his lunch. "Hey, you know what makes you strong? Eating good food...Look! Mommy made you a sandwich! Will you eat your sandwich with me? I was having some cereal..."

My mom is wonderful--but this was magic. He's in her specialty-age-group now. And you know, she's Grandma. So even though he wasn't totally happy, he moved on.

There were more crashes after that, but small ones really. And somehow I dragged myself out of my slump and came up with good ideas. One was calling in backup in the person of Cousin Courtney. She can cheer up any kid and mommy.

And tonight I looked at my boy in his zombie state, playing a video game and got smart. I declared a break time, got right in front of him as asked with a big smile which very physical activity he'd like. He decided on spinning. So I spun him. Then I tickled him. Then he "flew" on my feet. The zombie was gone, and my boy was back.

I have to remember those moments, especially when one of us is melting. I actually do know what I'm doing sometimes.